mh..

Pirms pāris dienām uzrakstīju šo.. domādams par katru vārdu un tā nozīmi..

"I tried to stay away, like you said we will. I didn't want to be bad, but you lured me back. 'fraid I just came to say, I'm sorry but I just can't stay. You said it yourself, we have to move on. At least we tried, is what we can say. I love you, more than anyone, you know I do. And you knew it all along. Too bad you couldn't really accept it and we had to stay away for some reason.. I guess this is how the story ends.. Though I hope we have another one, Maybe a different one, yet maybe the same, but what I know for sure, is that I won't survive without you. I still visit the bus stop and I guess I always will.. See ya kiddo."

Bet bāc.. man tik, sasodīti, sāp.
Man besī ārā, ka man ir šādas sajūtas.. es viņas pat aprakstīt nevaru.. tā kā sirds plīst uz pusēm un gribas vienkārši nosisties, lai visiem miers. :(

Vai tiešām man pats svarīgākais cilvēks pasaulē būs tāds, ko es nekad īsti pat saticis neesmu? Ar kuru es pat īsti runājis neesmu?
un kāpēc es tā daru pāri visiem kas man apkārt. Vai tādēļ ka ar mani pašu līdzīgi izrīkojās kaut kad pasen? Negribētos ticēt ka tā..

Un vispār, kāpēc, man galvā ir tik daudz domu, ka es pat nevaru darīt kā agrāk.. vienkārši uzrakstīt viņas visas kaut kur, kur es zinu ka neviens izņemot mani tās nelasīs, kā piemēram šeit, un izlasīt vēlāk, lai saprast beidzot, kas pie velna manā paurī notiek.
Kāpēc es te nevaru vienkārši visu sarakstīt!?
Kāpēc katrs mans teikums sākas ar kāpēc. :/

Would It be true to say I miss the way it used to be?
I don't know.. I remember it was so good, but I always wanted it to be more than that.. I know I always will. And I know it will most likely never happen. It hurts so much, It always will.. Vai tu gaidi kaut ko no manis? Varbūt es gaidu kaut ko no tevis.. piemēram to "can we someday maybe meet and talk?" ?
Varbūt..

[heartbreaksmiley]