Chin to the moon, son.

Chin to the moon..

Incineration Zone.

Šī diena man atgādināja and apstiprināja vienu no mūsu ar tomu and jurģi prikoliem,

"šitajai ir džeks"
"kā zini?"
"šitai arī ir džeks."
"kāpēc domā?"
"arī šitai ir džeks."
"oh kamõn, wtf?"
"nū vnk man viņas patīk."

"uj, bļ, šitai toč nav džeks"
".. you think? :D"

and so on.
nū jā, dīvaina gaišredzība mums, bēt nu.. as I said.. šodiena. (tree)

b nr.7. --> Scorched haven

Num ko.. rīt caur Tomu uz Usmu.
Ānd ja jau caur Tomu, tad izskatās, ka man beidzot būs iemesls pasēdēt savā īpašajā vietiņā, kura tik sen nav būts.
Can't wait to sit and wait like I used to so long ago.
And hell. Can't wait for Usmas ezers!

--->

You painted this surreal picture of you, during this time.
Makes me wonder, if you're so surreal, what are you doing in this real world.
It doesn't make any sense.
Guess I exaggerated.
I won't believe I did tho.
meh.

Ain't it funny.

And it starts, sometime around midnight.
Or at least that’s when you lose yourself
for a minute or two.
As you stand, under the bar lights.
And the band plays some song
about forgetting yourself for a while.
And the piano’s this melancholy soundtrack to her smile.
And that white dress she’s wearing
you haven’t seen her for a while.

But you know, that she’s watching.
She’s laughing, she’s turning.
She’s holding her tonic like a cross*.
The room’s suddenly spinning.
She walks up and asks how you are.
So you can smell her perfume.
You can see her lying naked in your arms.

And so there’s a change, in your emotions.
And all these memories come rushing
like feral waves to your mind.
Of the curl of your bodies,
like two perfect circles entwined.
And you feel hopeless and homeless
and lost in the haze of the wine.

Then she leaves, with someone you don’t know.
But she makes sure you saw her.
She looks right at you and bolts.
As she walks out the door,
your blood boiling
your stomach in ropes.
Oh and when your friends say,
“What is it? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Then you walk, under the streetlights.
And you’re too drunk to notice,
that everyone is staring at you.
You just don’t care what you look like,
the world is falling around you.

You just have to see her.
You just have to see her.
You just have to see her.
You just have to see her.
You just have to see her.
You know that she’ll break you in two.

Plusminus

Hih.
Kā viena lieta sucks, tā otra ir okey.
Kā viena lieta ir okey, tā otra sucks.
Smiekliņš?
I'm dead serious.

It's never enough.

I love you.

I'll sing to you just one more time
Recite to you just one more line
As the mixtape screams out motorcycle drive by
Plastic stars taped upon your ceiling
Shout out loud tell me what you're feeling
I'll fall asleep early tonight, tonight, tonight.

Ace Ventura style.

Vakar bija foršs vakars.
20:03 zvans "Būšu pie mūsu parastās vietas pēc stundas, beer's on me."
Nice. Nū fine. Pēc stundas gan izvērtās par "pēc divām" bēt nu whatever.
Arā auksts - whatever, alum ledusskapis dabīgais.
So yeah, sēžam smukā pagalmiņā pie bērnu izpriecu laukumiņa and jā, beer and talk and some salto mēģinājumi, kas protams bija.. nu jā paši saprotiet.
Anyway - talk.
Par daudz lietām, par mūsējiem, par mūsējām, par mums, par Angliju, Āfriku, Meksiku ūn Latviju..
Mja skauž bik ka cilvēks pa vienu vasaru būs gan Āfrikā, gan Meksikā, gan pēc tam vēl ar saviem ārzemju draugiem Latvijā. Bēt nu labi, lai takš viņam savs prieciņš tiek.
Next - Par Ogri piektdien, par Usmu nākamnedēļ, par Saulkrastiem Nākamnedēļ.
Par to ka Jurģis sadejoja ar vienu čiku tā interesanti..
Ūn.. nu jā, arī par to, par ko mēs bieži vien, bet ne vienmēr, parunājam..
Nu jā. Par pasaules netaisnībām and stuff, kādam takš jāpačīkst, ūn jāpaskatās kā otrs par to smejas, to make it all go away. =D
Nu ja.. pietiks.
Gribēju vēl te ielikt šito dziesmu. (Again.)

Lovehate.

What would your first thought be, when someone wrote to you the words "I **** You." ?

Would you think that the person loves you or hates you.

Are you a Park Jung Suk, a.k.a. Reach, who could kick anyone's ass and would probably say "hate"
Or some kind of girl who watched thousands of chickflicks in the past 5 minutes, and would say "love" ?
Or are you a dense person, who'd say "I don't know" ?
Maybe you are a normal person who'd say "love" ? Or a normal one who'd say "hate" ?
Maybe you're not a normal person, but who'd still say "love" or "hate" ?

Maybe you're you and you don't say anything at all.

Addict.

Mja, ja pavisam godīgi, tad es it nemaz vairs negribu te neko rakstīt.
Jo, tas ir bezjēdzīgi ūn es dažreiz te uzrakstu šo to, ko galīgi nevajadzētu,
ūn savā veidā, pat manipulēju pats ar sevi and jā.

...Bet ko padarīsi, atkarība.

Give me your "Over it" pill for both this and you.

Saulīšdziesma to throw the sadness away.

My dreams =/= My Reality.

He went to her and said -
"You're everything to me, you know you are,
Even though, I probably feel about you the very same way you feel about me,
You still mean everything to me.
Let's give it a chance of a sunrise, or at least a snowball's chance in hell.
Just for a second, let's imagine us sitting on a hill, watching the sunrise which..
belongs to nobody but us. Imagine us looking at it until even our sun sets.
It's a dream. Yet it could've been the best reality, or at least a perfect memory.
We could've played hide & seek in the shadows.
We could've found each other with a flashlight.
We could've driven to the ends of the earth.
We could've dove in the spring grass and watched the sky.
Oh, if only we could've.
If only I could say what I wanted to say and mean it.
If only nobody else in the world, would've seen it.
If only it could've been our reality.
But here I sit alone with my dreams,
Looking at a view inside my head, and..
Watching the sun in the sky, with my thumb at it,
And thinking.. "Hey.. The sun's never bigger than your thumb, either."

But this feels like the first time.

Šeit bija viens cits ieraksts, bēt nu jā, it's deleted and.. khh.

I can't wait 'till I'll be over it.

If you want to fly, well its not that absurd.
If you want to cry we won't breathe a word.
If you want to lie down, well forget what you heard,
Cause we've all got some tables to turn.

Hey! How long is in a long time? Hey! You- feeling left behind!

Now that all I've got is a picture of then.
Now that then got laid like a ghost to rest.
Now the aliens have been cleared to land don't be alarmed if they cruise up to you,
Lookin' for something to do...

Satellites spinning way outta orbit.
Livin' large for the moment.
Life is short but its built to go further than you know.
Spinning way outta orbit, Livin' large for the moment.
Life is short but it takes it's sweet time getting started.

Far out. Far out like satellites to remind you its not that absurd.
If you want to cry we won't breathe a word.
If you want to lie down, well forget what you heard,
Cause we've all got some tables to turn.

Singin' Hey!!
How long is in a long time?
Hey!! If you're feeling left behind.

Spinning way outta orbit till they learn to control it.
Life is short but it takes it's sweet time getting started.

Far out. Far out like satellites.

Spontāni!.

Nū jā. Spontāni, nolēmu te ielikt savus my favorite guns.

- Assault Rifles -

• L85A2

• SIG SG550

• M416 CQB

• G36E

- Sub-Machine Guns -

• Bizon PP-19

• P90

• SIG SG552 Commando

- Sniper Rifles -

• TPG1

• MSG90A1

• SV98

Best dad in the world.

I used too many words tonight

Vakar vakars, tikšanās ar Tomu. Trakās dienas - šmiga nopirkta.
Zvans Jurģim - mašīna brauc pakaļ.
Zvans Jānim - guess who's late.

Atnācām pie zinātņu akademijas ūn meklējam Jurģa volvo, and nevarējām atrast, sõ sēžam and rēcam ānd jā, zvana Jurģis - nāciet, es jūs redzu, and WTF.
Dzeltens žigulis, zomfg <33333
Jānis atnāk, pirmie vārdi "õõõõõõõõ....... õõõõõ... bļāāāā..... õõõõõõõ........."
kas bija arī apmēram mūsu pirmās domas ieraugot to superīgo lietu.
Most fun roadtrip nach ķengarags ever, and jā, esam klāt pie nadjas ūz sālsmaizi, and she's a good hostess.
Leldīte ūn Ivetiņa arī ir klāt ūn let's get the party started.
Pēc mirkļa atnāk arī Ligitiņa and Sarkandaugavieši, kas visi 4 drīz vien aiztinās, ānd Ligita tad 1os naktī atkal atgriežas, khh! nice evening.
Nice morning. Šoreiz, pa brīnumu nevienam džekam nagi nebija rozā nokrāsõti, thank god ūn jā, tīk foršas sarunas and khh, lovely, ūn pēc tam atkal brauciens žigulī, ar smiešanos līdz asarām, jo nu jau tur ir 9 cilvēki and visi uz mums skatās ūn rāda ar pirkstiem and move bitches, mums nestrādā bremzes.
Izmetām visus pa vienam ārā dažādās vietās and mani pie spices, and foršākais ceļš no spices līdz mājām manā dzīvē. Superīgs laiks, superīgs garīgais, superīgi sāp kakls and I'm so damn happy. ^___^ Ūn jā, ceļš gar kapsētu ūn tā vieta kkā mani šodien uzrunāja. Iekša bija cilveki. Tādi mierīgi, nedaudz skumji, apkopj sevi interesējošo vietiņu ūn jā.. Vēl vairāk pievērsu uzmanību vienai sievietei, kura bija ar riteni apstājusies ūn ar tādu tukšu skatienu skatījās uz vienu kapu.. eh.. smagi laikam tiem cilvēkiem ir, I'm so damn lucky so far, when you think about it, nemaz negribu iedomāties, kā būs pēc pāris gadiem.. everything's gonna change so bad.. so drastically.. num jā, devos tālāk ūn domāju pie sevis dažādas ar nāvi saistītas domas bēt nu jā tas ilgi nevilkās, ūn pēc kādām 3-5 min jau atkal gāju, smaidīju ūn dziedāju līdzi savām dziesmām and jā, bik weird kad apjēdz ka tiesi aiz tevis iet cilvēks ūn visu dzird, bet fak that, too happy (sun)
Can't wait till the end of the month ar Usmas 4diennieku and saulkrastu dzimeni right afterwards.
Traka nedēļa būs, but we're gonna looove it.

Skan : vecās labās dziesmas, kas izsauc deja vu.







You won't be thinking of cars when, you're on your death bed and dying, You'll only be thinking, What you are paying for, What you are praying for, Love.

Good Old Days.

I remember the thouhts that were in my head, when I was trying to remember the lyrics of this song, to type into my mobile phone.



Thoughts full of doubts, which turned out true.

Evil.

Man galvā ir kaut cik gudra filozofiska doma, bet es viņu paturēšu pie sevis, jo es to varu.

Night of contradictions.

Šī nakts bija.. interesanta.. bet nepareiza.

Pirmkārt jau tādēļ, ka parasti es naktīs nesapņoju, bet tagad sapņoju daudz, ūn atceros 4 no sapņiem. So here they go.

1) Some kind of liels resns džeks, dusmīgs skraida riņķī kā bullis, mēģinot mani grūstīt.
Ēs izvairos and stuff and bla bla bla, atnāk brālis un mēs viņu atdauzam. nu jā. it kā mēs ar brāli kkad kko tādu darītu.. abi kopā pietamvēl.
[Broseph.]

2) Ar draugiem, kā sejas es neskatījos [kam negadās] staigājām riņķī ūn ieraudzījām pamestu māju, iegājām iekšā, dzirdam mūziku un balsis, ieejam liftā (jā, tāds tur bija), ūn tas aizvēra durvis, tad atvēra ūn tur bija kādi 10 party people, tālāk neatceros.
[ķkc, ndj, partay.]

3) 53. autobuss.
gandrīz pēdējie krēsli or w/e they're called. Es, cilvēks kurš man vairs nenozīmē neko, tiešām neko, ūn vēl viens cilvēks, kas ir tam iemesls.
Contradiction - we talk like best friends, ar cilvēku kas vairs nenozīmē neko. We talk and laugh and have fun, then she turns to the other one and lies down on his knees, And I get off the bus, and go home.
[Ma]

4) Šitas bija visīsākais, bet vis.. nu jā..
Basically sapnis sākās ar viena cilvēka seju man priekšā, ūn īsu sarunu, I think I was sick or injured or something, and the cilvēks man jautāja "vēlāk vakarā, tak pub'ā tiksimies?" es - "mkhm." tad dabūju mazu buču, no šī cilvēka, kas jau tā pat ir vnk omg, jo tas ir something that's never happened and never will/would (būsim reāli, cilvēki.). ūn jā, it felt so real. Which is vnk "ghhrrrr aaaaa" and jā, tad dabūju arī lielāku, kas bija "I want to bang my head against the wall, khh.!" ūn jā, still so friggin' real. It's just amazing, and tad tur bija kkāda nedaudz nedabīga galvas rotācija, ko es īsti tā arī nesapratu, bet nu jā. the sickest part, ir ka tā visa laikā, arī sapnī, acis ir ciet, ūņ iekšā viss bļauj "atver acis, pārliecinies ka tā ir īstenība" bēt otra puse iekšā saka "nē, atvērsi acis sapnī, tad, ja tas tiešām ir tikai sapnis, tad sanāks ka atvērsi arī īstenībā un sapnis beigsies". Guess it did, ja jau es esmu šeit ūn tagad te šito rakstu.
[Bērni ir miskastē.]

On another note..
Tagad skatos ārā pa logu, saule spīd ļoti ļoti, putni čivina, bēt mani nepamet sajūta, ka šodien būs ļoti slikta diena, ūn nu jā.. last time when I had a feeling just like this, I lost my wallet and my favorite hat in London. Bet you gotta do what you gotta do, so iešu prom pēc 20 min to do some serious stuff. Bēt nu jā, until then, gotta eat some food [which we have none], ūn vajag ierakstīt te īsu tekstiņu, ko iedomājos kad biju dušā -


I want you back in my life,
We both know you belong,
It's too bad that however I strive,
You ain't never coming home.

Notes.

Pēc ballītes, kad visi vēl gulēja, bet es biju jau nomodā ūn skanēja mūzika, es ieklausījos vārdos, jo duh, neko citu nebija ko darīt, ūn jā. reku pārītis vārdu pārīšu ko es vainu dzirdēju dziesmās, vai vnk iedomājos to dziesmu iespaidā.

Hint for, Hint for, Hint for, One major hint against.

I don't want to stay and wait for a miracle.

My spark's gone bad.

I'm gonna end up frying your ass.

Everyone has a price, people are for sale, people have a price for losing, people have a price for telling the truth.

Stipro skrējiens.

nu jā.. īsi sakot..
Man.
viss.
Sāp.
ūn.
Ļoti.

Bet nu prieciņš, ka tas tika pievarēts, un patiešam bija 20000 reiz grūtāk nekā man likās ka būs, un vnk omfg.
un jā, cerams ka plaušu karsonis tomēr nebūs no tā siltā ūdens (sun)
nu jā.. botas jau smuki pēc šitā pasākuma guļ miskastē and drēbes tika stundu skalotas, ūn iemestas netīrajā, ūn nu jā.. nice. ruksīši bijām.
daudz dubļu and ūdens and I liked it, žēl tik ka pašā pirmajā ūdenī bija riepas or something iekšā ko nevarēja redzēt, sõ es iekritu and man, dolbnim, bija daudz drēbju, kas visas bija slapjas and svēra kādus 1000 kilogramus pārējos 6arpus kilometrus, bet nu whatever, vismaz cilvēki ir jauki, ūn pat sacensībās momentāli tevi izvelk no ūdens lai tevi nenobradā (tree)

jā.. ūn Nadja, Rūta and Laura izskatījās sexy cīnoties dubļu vannā.. :D
ūūūūn.. ceru ka rīt varēšu no gultas piecelties, lai sadzert ar jaukajiem cilvēkiem kas atgriezās no anglijas, and omg cik forši ka rīt viņi, izrādās, visi 3 ir LV. Dīvaināk ir tas, ka vēl vakar, es domāju ka tikai 1 no viņiem, bet šodien izrādās ka pārējie 2 arī (sun)
nu ja.. if I can walk, then I can drink ^___^
If I can't walk, then you'll help me to walk, and I'll help you to drink ^____^
you get the pikšer.

Skan : Soul Sanctuary - Destiny ; Blue Judy - Mulholland ; Armada - Blue & Green ; Safety - Blizzard of the century.

mm.

Superīga diena.

Qs

Kept the frame, changed the content.

Harder-faster, forever-after.

All the crazy shit I did tonight, those will be the best memories.

It's not about what you want, It's about what you didn't expect to get.

People are drawn in by the unreachable. If they can reach it, they lose interest.

A mirror is a loner's best friend.

What I'm looking at tonight, is but a shadow of what we used to be.

13.

My life has become a boring pop song And everyone's singing along

And today was a day just like any other

I'm on the verge, I'm on the verge
Unraveling with every word
With every word you say, make me believe
That I won't feel your tires on the street
As I'm finding the words... you're getting away

I come undone, oh yes, I do
Just think of all the thoughts wasted on you
And every word you say, say something sweet
Cause all I taste is blood between my teeth
As I'm finding the words... you're getting away

Well I'm ready, I'm ready to drop
Oh, I'm ready, I'm ready so don't stop
I'm ready so don't stop, Keep pushing
I'm ready to fall, oh, I'm ready
I'm ready so don't call, I'm ready so don't call

I am aware, I've been misled
I disconnect my heart, my head
Don't wanna recognize when things go bad
The things that you'll accept
Except that I am finding the words... to say

I'm ready, I'm ready to drop
Oh oh oh oh oh, I'm ready
I'm ready so don't stop
I'm ready so don't stop

[I wake up to find it's another
Four aspirin morning, and I dive in
I put on the same clothes I wore yesterday.
When did society decide that we had to change
And wash a tee shirt after every individual use:
If it's not dirty, I'm gonna wear it.
I take the stairs to the car
And there's fog on the windows.
(As I'm finding the words...)
I need caffeine in my blood stream,
I take caffeine in the blood stream.
I grip the wheel and all at once I realize:
(And you're getting away...)
My life has become a boring pop song
And everyone's singing along.]

Well, I'm ready, to drop, well, I'm ready
I'm ready so don't stop, oh
Well, keep pushing, I'm ready to fall
Well, I'm ready, I'm ready so don't call
I'm ready so don't call, oh... oh... oh...

Lielvārde.

Atkal pabiju ķegumā un lielvārdē, ūn nu jā..
foršs tusiņš, forši cilvēki, īpaši forša viena saruna ,kas mani tik pamatīgi ietekmēja, ka es gandrīz izdarīju kko tādu ko ļoti nožēlotu, jo pagātne rakāties dažreiz tomēr nevajag. Labi ka klāt bij draugi kas mani apturēja, kgan 1% no tā ko gribēju darīt jau tomer izdarīju.. nu jam.

Vakar paskatījos draugos viena cilvēka, kas agrāk man bija ārkārtīgi svarīgs, profilu ūn albūmu [kas nav darīts ļoti sen, un draugos man arī tā cilvēka vairs nav] un nu jā. tik dīvainas sajūtas pārņēma skatoties jaunākās bildes un saprotot ka piepildījās tieši tas, kas man likās ka notiks, pēc tam kad mēs pašķīrāmies, ūn lai kā mani tas kretinēja agrāk, tagad I'm actually happy about it.
Forša sakritība [nosacīti] bija tas, ka man draugos dekorācijās bija rakstīts "I hate your face" un protams ka pēc manis arī manu profilu apskatīja tas cilvēks, ūn tam cilvēkam dekorācijās parādījās "sorry" kgan tas I hate your face galīgi nebija par to domāts (tree)

Ņja, next thing.. Es pēdējā laikā baigi aizdomājos par to kāds esmu citu acīs. Ūn nevaru teikt ka man pilnīgi viss patīk.
I'm a bit too childish with my friends, kas nav slikti, bet nu jā, tomēr bik pa daudz, and es esmu nenormāli ziņkārīgs cilvēks, no kā es arī gribu tikt vaļā, ūn man bieži gribas būt ievērotam, ūn vēl laikam tomēr jau es īpaši to neapzinoties, cilvēkiem daudz ko pārmetu, kas man manī nepatīk visivairāk.. bet nu jā, I guess jālabojas.
Anyway, nesen pieņēmu vienu interesantu testu, kas saucās something like How disturbed are you? ūn rekur mani rezultāti.

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

I guess I'm a bit of a freak. Nice.

Funny.

Man laikam mēnešreizes iestājušās, ka tā garastāvoklis mainās, bēt I'm happy.
I'm an asshole... but I'm happy.
And I was too harsh maybe.

Pāvel neapvainojies, bet..

Tu esi idiots.
Nu jā. pirmkārt jau es tomēr te tagad rakstu, neskatoties uz iepriekšējo ierakstu, jo mana ziņkāre mani noveda uz viena vecā-labā cilvēka vietni, also known as "sveša dzīve", paskatījos kas tur notiek kādas minūtes 3-4, ūn nja, dabūju pa galvu, pa iekšām ūn protams ka atkal pa sirdi [emo teikts, bet whatever, taisnība vien ir.]
Sasodīts.
Kāāāpēēēēēc vajag izvazāt labāko atmiņu, kas man ir, pa dubļiem.
I really hate it when you do that.
You always were and probably will be the only person who can ever really hurt me the way that I care about it. And I hate the fact that you actually do it.
Ūn es nezinu vai es beigās rīkojos pareizi, laižot tevi vaļā, kaut gan gribas jau ticēt, ka jā, bet sasodīts, ja jau es to izdarīju, jo tu to vēlējies, un nemaz nesaki ka nevēlējies, tad lūdzu.. lūdzu stop driving me through the mud. Even if it happens rarely. Don't.

Danke.

... on another note, lietiņa ko vēlējos te ielikt, danke marijai nadolu par darbiņu, you're an awesome person, and I'm loving the job, franču cilvēki ir jauki (sun)

"I am a shark,The ground is my ocean, And most people don't even know how to swim."

"Don't let the weight of her bring you down, Don't let her walk in the room and turn you inside-out, Don't let the touch of her hand take you down, No not now, No not ever. Don't let the weight of her bring your world down."

"I always ***ed you and I always will, and I doubt I'll ever say or write that word directly again."