Ooo jāā.

No visiem sirds dziļumiem.

The notebook.

Nū vot, cereju uz kko līdzīgu "Death Note" bēt tagad jūtos kā vecene -.-
Fāking good movie tho.
Dīvaini izvest sevi caur sajūtām, kad vari vilkt paralēles ar savu dzīvi, kgan apzinies ka nav gan īsti tā, un tad galu galā saprast, ka īstenība nav pat ne tuvu tam.
Mja, katrs pats savas laimes kalējs, ūn es laikam kā biju tā palikšu viss kas, tik ne kalējs. :|
Bēt nu vismaz prieciņš.. ka es neesmu tāds vienīgais.

Actiņās prieks, Satraukta sirds. ^^

Nu nevaru dabūt tos vārdus ārā no manas galvas.
...Ūn man jāsāk mosties ātrāk, šitā taču nedrīkst.. :S :D
Kas vēl..
Jā.. biļetes uz londonu ir nopirktas, ūn martā mēs to vietu vnk izvarosim. Tom, gatavojies. ^________^
Ūn paldies Leldītei, Jankam, Ivetiņai ūn Lauriņai, jūs vakar bijāt superīgi. ^^


P.S. I wanna see Avatar.

Šodienas frāze : "There ain't no gentlemen anymore, women killed them all." ©Toms

You're an idiot.

:D.

Es šito teicu jau miljons reižu.

Bet nu jā, it happened again.
Ūn jā, viss. viiissssss [ūn jā es skaitīju lai katram "i" burtam būtu divi "s" burti]
Jā tas ir tik viegli, es beidzu šito teātri in my head.
I'd lie if I said I didn't care.
But I'm going to lie to myself and to everyone until I don't have to lie anymore and it becomes true.

Ūn I just had to put this in.
Vakarnakts dziesmiņa, kas dīvainā kārtā pat ir ziemassvētkīga.

Around christmas.

Šajā laikā man prātā ļoti iekrita divas frāzītes, ko dzirdēju, ūn es saliku nelielu vārdu puzli, no vārdiņiem kas man grozījās galvā. ūn jā rekur ir tie 3 nedaudz sajauktā secībā just for fun.

"Here I am saying 'I love you' but all you hear is 'psycho'."
"But I see my life. Don't. Think of what you cannot feel. Wonder if you can make it real. Reality is killing me. I'm not here to compromise or apologize."
"Perfect's never worth it"

On an other note..
I'm confused.
Man galvā ir tāds haoss. Visu laiku ir bijis. Jau gandrīz gadu. Es nezinu ko es gribu, ko es varu, ko man vajag. Tāda putra.
Viss jaucas kopā.
Es neesmu laimīgs. Es pirms 2 nedēļām biju laimīgs. Es vairs neesmu laimīgs.
Es pirms 6 mēnešiem biju laimīgs. Un tad vairs nebiju laimīgs.
Es ļoti sen biju laimīgs.. Un tagad..
ekh.

Es domāju vienu, es izrādu otru, un šeit rakstu trešo.
Tad viss mainās un es domāju otru, izrādu trešo un šeit rakstu pirmo.
Un tad viss atkal mainās un viss atkal sajaucas.
I don't know who I am anymore. Nobody does.
Pat ja tagad ir viens cilvēks, kurš zin par mani gandrīz tik pat cik es pats par sevi zinu.. tik un tā.. līdzšinējais viss..... kkāds sviests.!

Es pavisam nesen pārliecinājos ka tā saucamais "mazais muļķītis" tika ārā. Viņš bija better than ever.
Un viņš nav it nemaz tik tālu tagad, kā bija pirms kāda laiciņa. Viņš te pat vien ir.
Bet arī viņš redz ka man galvā ir nenormāla putra.
Nav spēka vairs.
Tieši šobrīd galvā ir atmiņa par vienu notikumu kkādos padsmitajos decembra datumos.
Es pat par to izdomāju tādu kā stāstiņu, kas apraksta to situāciju no malas.
"Un tā, cilvēku plūsma devās uz durvju pusi, un viņi divi viens otru ieraudzīja. Saskatījās ar puslīdz dusmīgiem skatieniem un katrs nodomāja savu domu. Viens no viņiem ienīda otru. Otrs nedaudz apmulsa un saprata ko ir darījis.. Izdarīja nelielu emocionālu atkāpi no visa un nedaudz pie sevis nokaunējās. Bet nedaudz iekšā, arī viņš ienīda pirmo cilvēku. Ne tuvu ne tik daudz, jo greizsirdības dusmas tomēr ir diezgan faking trakas, bet tomēr ienīda. Ienīda jo vēlējas, lai tas cilvēks neeksistētu."
Bet nu jā nezinu kādēļ tagad par to atcerējos.. It īpaši jo tam visam pa vidu jaucas ne viens, bet veseli divi cilvēki, neskatoties uz to, ka vienam tur darīt galīgi nav ko, un viņš pat nezin ka ir tur iejaukts, bet būs vienmēr. Visās tamlīdzīgās situācijās.
I think I'm crazy a little bit.
Un jām.. šodien brauciens no siguldas uz majām bija tāds.. interesants. pārdomu pilns. Un no visa notiekošā es sapratu vienu lietu. Viss ko es sev solīju.. Tas viss ir bezjēdzīgi. Es neesmu morāli stiprs cilvēks. Vnk neesmu.
Viss, pietiks šeit runāt bezsakarā sõ vnk ielikšu superīgu dziesmu no vnk ideālas filmas.



Chances are when said and done
Who will be the lucky ones
Who make it all the way?
Though you say I could be your answer
Nothing lasts forever
No matter how it feels today

Chances are we'll find a new equation
Chances run away from me
Chances are all they hope to be

Don't get me wrong I never say never
Cause though love can change the weather
No act of God can pull me away from you

I'm just a realistic man
A bottle filled with shells and sand
Afraid to look beyond what I can lose when it comes to you
And though I'll see us through yeah

Chances are we'll find two destinations
Chances run away from me
Still chances are more than expectations
And possibilities
Over me

Eight to five or two to one
Lay your money on the sun
Until you crash what have you done?
Is there a better bet than love?
What you are is what you bring
You've got to cry before you see

Chances, chances

Chances lost are hopes torn up pages
Maybe this time
Chances are we'll be the combination
Chances come and carry me
Chances are waiting to be taken
And I can see
Chances are the fascination
Chances won't escape from me
Chances are only what we make them
And all I need

Mosquito.

Deep.

I'm so confused by what I have and what I want,
But I can't stand alone without your help
I'm afraid of the truth that I might find
when I look inside myself,
But I can't stand alone without your help
And what once gave me solace, now only gives me pain
I over estimated your emotions again
How easily we can fool ourselves
and see things that just aren't there
Tangle up our emotions until it seems that people truly care
It's been out of my hands now for so long
and there's nothing I could have done
And jealousy's an emotion that I'll have to learn to overcome
And what once gave me solace now only gives me pain
I overestimated your emotions again
Distance and silence, how do they make you feel?
Well they hurt me.


..............................................

You sounded so good on the phone
All moved up and all moved on
Me and gravity we never could agree
I can almost see the sky
When I need to close my eyes
You're the only thing that's worth holding on to

Angel you sing about beautiful things
And all I want to do is believe
But I traded my dreams for this mess of memories
And they just stopped working for me

I'm not a monster I believe
Like a liar would believe
Helps me navigate the wooden smiles, the raging sea
All my heroes pull their heads
Like a fighter would I guess
No one ever really likes getting older

Angel you sing about beautiful things
And all I want to do is believe
But I traded my dreams for this mess of memories
And they just stopped working for me


....................

Odd one, you're never alone
I'm here and I will reflect you
Both of us basically unattached
To anything or anyone unless we're pretending
You live your life in your head
Some call it imagination
I'd rather focus instead on anything except
What I'm feeling
What I'm feeling
Odd one...

Hey, it's gonna be okay
Hey, we're gonna laugh at this one day

Odd one, I wish I was you
You're never concerned with acceptance
We are all desperately seeking out, a
And fitting with anyone
Who will accept us
But not you, odd one

Hey, it's gonna be okay
Hey, we're gonna laugh at this one day

Hey, it's gonna be okay
Hey, gonna laugh at this one day

Hey, it's gonna be okay
Hey, we're gonna laugh at this one day

Don't let someone tell you you're no-one
Don't let someone tell you you're no-one
Odd one...

So true..

The best films are like dreams you're never really sure you've had.

[ninja edit]
Tātad.
Tagad tāds interesants garastāvoklis, ar interesantām nāvīgām domiņām.
Nu jā, vainīga protams ir filmiņa "2012" bet nu kādēļ gan ne, specefekti bija naiss.
Bet nu jā, viens moments filmā mani nez kādēļ ļoti uzrunāja, neskatoties uz to, ka tieši tādu momentu esmu redzējis jau ļoti daudz tāda tipa filmās, bet nu tomēr jā, uzdzina uz domu..
Kāda īsti ir sajūta, kad ievelc elpu, un apzinies, ka tā būs tavas dzīves pēdējā.?
Kāda ir sajūta, kad redzi, ka viss apkārt brūk, un izdzīvot nav iespējams.
Un brūk ne tikai tev, bet pilnīgi visiem, tas nenotiek tikai tev galvā, tas tiešām notiek.
Kāda ir sajūta, kad tu zini, ka šie ir pēdējie mirkļi.?
Spēcīgi...

Mainījos atkal, un pēc tam mainījos atkal.

I’m not the same as yesterday
Ooh... It’s hard to explain
How things have changed
But I’m not the same as before
And I know there’s so much more ahead
I can barely believe that I’m here
And I won’t surrender quietly
Step up and watch me go

Break down, ya really want it?
Wanna make a scene?
Show me what ya mean
Let’s get it started
Let me see whatcha got
Can ya take it up a knotch?
Don’t think you got it
Can’t handle the pressure?
Get, off, stop talkin’ about it
Gotta make this count, let’s go

When we move
We camouflage ourselves
We stand in the shadows waiting
We live for this and nothing more
We are what you created

I can feel the storm
The winds have changed
Ooh... ‘Cause we’re worlds a part
But just the same
But we won’t leave the way that we came
And I know there’s so much more ahead
I can barely believe that we’re here
We won’t surrender quietly
Step up and watch it go

Break down, ya really want it?
Wanna make a scene?
Show me what ya mean
Let’s get it started
Let me see whatcha got
Can ya take it up a knotch?
Don’t think you got it
Can’t handle the pressure?
Get, off, stop talkin’ about it
Gotta make this count, let’s go

When we move
We camouflage ourselves
We stand in the shadows waiting
We live for this and nothing more
We are what you created

Are you ready? Are ya ready?
Are ya ready for me?
Are you ready? Are ya ready?
Are ya ready to see?

When we move
We camouflage ourselves
We stand in the shadows waiting
We live for this and nothing more
We are what you created


... ehh.
Es sev pirms pāris dienām kaut ko apsolīju, bet nu jā.. nolemu, ka tomēr nē.
Tā nedrīkst. Es nevaru ko tādu pieļaut. Tas ir par traku.
Pat daļēji vairs nevaru tomēr.
Nē.
Tas nav godīgi, bet nu vismaz vienu labu lietu man kāds pavisam nesen iemācīja, ūn es to padomu izmantošu.
Pietiks ļaut asinis sūkt.
Es viņas gribu sev.

Soulmate.

Fumbling his confidence
And wond�ring why the world has passed him by
Hoping that he�s meant for more than arguments
And failed attempts to fly, fly

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

Dreaming about providence
And whether mice or men have second tries
Maybe we�ve been livin with our eyes half open
Maybe we�re bent and broken, broken

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

We want more than this world�s got to offer
We want more than this world�s got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?

P.S. I FINALLY GOT MY VULC <3

...

nezodz.

Nr. 150. To who it may concern-please do not read.

Pagremdējos atmiņās, palasīju visus svarīgos rakstiņus, kas man ir un jā.. dažas rindas tagadējā situācijā izcēlās..

Manai sirdij ir tikai daži svarīgi datumi un tu zini vienu no viņiem un nav svarīgi vai mēs vēl esam vai nē svarīgas ir atmiņas un atcerēties to jauko. Nevis sēdēt un dusmoties par to ka es izvēlējos tomēr pazust. Es ticu ka tas nav vielgi, bet dažreiz vnk ir jādara tas kas ir pareizi, nevis tas ka tev liktos pareizi. So ja tāds bŗidis pienāk tad atceries – let me let you go and forgive me. And then let yourself let me go and be happy.
(...)
Manī ir daudz dažādu cilvēku, bet tu vienalga manī redzi tūtiņu vienu pašu. Un es patiešām nesaprotu kā tu to dabū gatavu, bet labi pat ka tā. Es vismaz to nevaru sabojāt. Tu vnk mani mīli tādu kāda es esmu. Un tas ir tik frikin’ jauki un man svarīgi.
Lai gan es zinu ka visticamāk ja viss tomēr beigsies, tad tu vairāk tā nedomāsi, zinu ka tad būšu slikta un iespējams man nepiedosi. Taču dzīve ir pilna negaidītu notikumu – and you just have to deal them. Tāpēc es ceru ka tomēr man piedosi un spēsi kādu dienu ar mani atkal parunāt kā ar cilvēku nevis kādu kas saplēsa tavus sapņus.


Nu jā.. lika man aizdomāties, tie vārdi, kad tos lasīju pirmo reizi, nozīmēja kaut ko pavisam citu, kā to, ko viņi nozīmē tagad..
Nozīme ir tik ļoti mainījusies, ka tas pat ir absurds..
Ūn man ir kauns. Es tiešām, goda vārds nezinu kādēļ, jo es tiešām neuzskatu ka esmu nogrēkojies kaut kā, bet par kaut ko man ir kauns.. Tik ļoti, ka gribas zemē ieurbties, satīties tur kamoliņā un ar samiegtām acīm drebēt..
Something's scaring me. Bigtime.

Jocīgi apzināties.

Ka es gandrīz vienmēr turu savu vārdu, kad to dodu kādam citam, bēt gandrīz nekad nepieturos pie tā, ko solu pats sev.
I've got to stop doing this one little habit I have.
Bēt es to daru katru dienu >_<.
Ūn nevienu reizi vēl pēc tā izdarīšanas neesmu uzlabojis sev garastāvokli, tieši otrādi, bēt still es to daru.
Mja, I have to stop.
Un on another note.
Vakar bija veco dziesmu un veco lietu vakars.
Forsi paklausīties 2006/2007. gadu.
Foršāk paklausīties 1999. gadu.
Gandrīz forši paklausīties 1980os gadus.
ehh, atmiņas. ^^
ūn vispār es ciest nevaru vārdu "gandrīz", viņam vajadzētu doties garā pārgājienā.

Ār mīlestību, Sviests & Co.

Smuki ārā ir.

Ir doma, kas man prātā bija kad pamodos no zvana, kurā man pateica, lai paskatos āra pa logu. Ļoti jauks rīta sākums ^^
Beidzot bija nakts kura es pagulēju ilgāk pa stundu [ūn arī aizmigu pirms sešiem ^^], klepus ir nedaudz mierīgāks palicis. :)
Njā, īstenībā man te nemaz neko īpaši negribas rakstīt, sõ nezinu kādēļ es to izdarīju tomēr.

OO. :)

Rets gadījums.

Again and again it's not the way you plan it.
It's like you look up to ashes.
C-c-c-c-c-c-could you ever look in my eyes,
Could you ever look in my eyes.
Don't wanna feel your heartbeat,
I'll never understand the reason why you came tonight and...
Don't wanna feel your heartbeat,
I'll never understand the reason why you came tonight.
The time is now to face the truth
And now you see I've come to leave.

.. Today has the potential to be the best day in a long, long time. :)

Masks on our faces.

Parunājos... un jā.. dīvaini kā cilvēka viena kļūda kaut kad agrā jaunībā var ietekmēt viņā dzīvi tik ilgi.. dažreiz pat mūžīgi.. tā lieta cilvēkā iekšā iespiežas kā rēta tik stipri, ka nekas to nespēj mainīt, un viņi apsolās nekad vairs nepieļaut to kļūdu, un piesargājas pat pārlieku daudz. Dīvaini kā cilvēki nevar samierināties ar to, kas viņi īstenība ir, viņi vienkārši uzmet sev masku, ar kāda cita cilvēka rakstura īpašībām, un cenšas, uj kā cenšas, tai pieskaņoties, un cer ka neviens viņu patieso seju nekad zem tās nesaskatīs.
Cienu cilvēkus kam nav maskas, vai kam tās maskas ir tik ļoti labas, ka pat es nenojaušu, ka tā nav īstā seja, bet gan tikai maska..
Bet nu jā.. ko nu es zinu par cilvēkiem.
Ļoti liels prieks bija parunāt ar manu veco austrāliešu draugu atkal. Laikam tagad būs vēl kāds pus gads jāgaida līdz nākamajai sarunai, bet nu nekas, es gaidīšu. :)
Marks, Remijs ūn Eelco devās prom.. nu jā, labu veiksmi viņiem, ūn liels paldies Remy pār padomiem un par dalīšanos ar pieredzi, cerams ka viss beigsies kā tam tiešām ir jābeidzas, nevis kā tas varētu beigties.
Ūn jā.. Operācija "Erasemylife" var sākties. :)
Laiks vilkt nost šito pretīgo masku, I think I'm ready.

Until it's swapped..

Bēgt nav kur, izrādās..
Šodien, kāds man agrāk dārgs cilvēks, man nogadāja pēdējās atvadas.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do..
Un vispār ironiski, ka tas notika tieši šodien, jo tieši šodien es sevi noliku uz svītras, ar 90% izgāšanās iespēju, ūn tieši šobrīd gaidu rezultātus..
Neatmetīšos.
Let's put our hands together for a better life.

724 days of my life.

They're days I'm not getting back.
Zit..
Just like that...

I've promised myself the same thing so many times.
And now made the same promise.
And it's funny how I can't even type the things I want and I feel in my own blog.
Guess people don't even have to talk to each other to hurt each other.
Screw this, I can't stand it anymore.
I have a hope. And it's not a nice one.
The undertow reels him in.

Red in two.

Kā konfekte no bērnības kas bija skāba ka velnszinkas bēt ar ķīmiski saldu pildījumu, šī konfekte bija "Shock".

Es nevaru noticēt, ka man vairs nav patvēruma.
Neforši kad my business kadu padara niknu,
so I guess it's going back to how it was for all those months, and how it should've fkng been.
Un bleh, galvā skan tikai viena dziesma. pat ne dziesma bet tikai tās nosaukums.

So we walk the longest days to live inside the shortest nights
We compromise our hearts to keep them satisfied
The shadows of our past, hard to ignore but judgment means nothing that's not what we're fighting for

Because Matt owns.

Love,
I'm aching to believe
Give me something real enough
Give me somewhere to fall from

'cause in the dark
I can't find my feet
Built my world on promises
Colorless and cold

I'm short of breath, I'm sure
Gone, let it wash away the best I had
Gone, and when I disappear
Don't expect me back, don't expect me back

Lost, sweetest things get lost
In the static far away
Painted pictures of you
I fold
Don't want to be holy then
Don't want to be sold again
The way I was with you

I'm short of breath, I'm sure
Gone let it wash away the best I had
Gone and when I disappear
Don't expect me back, don't expect me back

I'm short of breath, I'm sure
Gone, let it wash away
The best I had
Gone, and when I disappear
Don't expect me back
Don't expect me back

At its worse the heart is sober
At its worse the heart is cold, cold, cold

I'm short of breath, I'm sure
Gone, let it wash away all the best I had
Gone, and when I disappear
Don't expect me, don't expect me back

Gone, let it wash away
The best I had




Nothing worse than an all-in bluff called,
So.. I dare you to call.
Yet after I risk it all,
I still get away safe,
Because you always fold..
I do believe I have something to look for,
I have something to look at.
I have something to reach out to.
With the highest level of difficulty, as always.
I've achieved something far beyond,
I prefer the game over the prize.
I guess I'll never change..

I'm aching for a whisper,
A silent tone, singing in my ear,
With me being a psycho cause it tickles.
But If It doesn't happen again..
Then it's okay.
I'll be alright, because I've lost my sentiment.
I've got something better.
I've got something worse.
I've got something different.
I don't have anything at all.

This blog ain't really mine anymore.

Your bitter goodbye is ringing through this quiet night,
This idle hour just wont pass.
I've never missed you this much, never thought I would,
Didn't think you'd feel so far away.
Your summer perfume is still blowing through this hallway,
Autumn's amber red shadows dance.
I miss our midnight rides, on highway 18,
18 is gone.

So go past the lights and all the excuses.
You could have left, sincerely yours.
Don't you think it's obvious that I want to say more?
But anything too daring to say to you,
Will be said in this letter, then burned away,
So you never realize, I'm here.

I'm thinking of your vague reply,
So I can understand,
Why we put this at rest,
Why we forget to,
Say that we were leaving,
And say that we were sorry,
The past remains unspoken,
As this vacant night is dying.

But I still miss your summer perfume.
This cold air brings in such a distance to us,
Such a painful distance.
But I'm still waiting for you to say, you hate me now,
So I don't have too.
Hold on to this burning heart,
This burning heart is getting old,
It's getting old.
While sitting on this cold kitchen floor,
Head down to hide the tears,
I've realized, I've finally realized,
That you were never,
You were never meant, for me.

Ūn I figured out when this all will end.
mmm...

Šodiena.

Nū kā to labāk aprakstīt...
"Kā uz sudraba paplātes.."
Nebūtu viena maza āķīša, tad būtu uz zelta vai vispār dimanta paplātes, bet nu jā.
I guess nebūtu jau nemaz tik grūti..
Bet nu es pats tik pat kā biju viņa vietā agrāk..
Ūn tieši tādēļ var teikt.. ka.. viņam.. ir tik sasodīti paveicies.. Bet tas nevilksies ilgi. And I won't even have to do a thing.
Ūn neskatoties, ka man jau labak ir ja viņam viss sabrūk.. bet nu.. daļa manis, dīvainā kārtā, vēlas, lai viss viņam tomēr būtu labi.
I don't make sense. Bet nu.. ehh.. :)
Tik dīvaina sajūta, kad tavos spēkos tiešam ir kaut ko mainīt, tā teikt, izmainīt dzīves ritējumu sev par labu, bet nodarot skādi kādam citam..
bleh.. :|

hmm..

No idea why it's gonna happen, but I don't mind.
I'm gonna enjoy it.

Cilvēcisks naivums, kas nenāk par labu, bet vienmēr ir.

The way that girl can break a heart
It’s like a work of art
And this is the worst part
She knows it

And she’s so confident
That she’s what everybody wants
But nobody wants
Her to know that

So fall back on all of your premonitions
And just learn to listen
To those that have more wisdom than you
And just stop
Putting so much stock
In all of this stuff
Live your life for those you love

And I’m still waiting for
You to be the one I’m waiting for

The way that girl can turn a head
Well she is such a threat
But don’t ever forget
She knows it

And she’s got it all
All figured out
And she won’t let you doubt
She knows it

I’m still waiting for
You to be the one I’m waiting for

Something tells me that this is going to make sense
Something tells me it’s going to take patience
Something tells me that this will all work out in the end

Relient K got popular :O

If it wasn't for him
I would still be searching
If it wasn't for him
I wouldn't know my best friend
If it wasn't for him
He would be able to see
If it wasn't for him
He would be as happy as me

In this heartbreak world.

Let's all pack up and move this year,
We'll slip the lines and disappear,
Leave memories for auctioneers.
And those, just standing still.

They'll miss the taste of wanting you.
Call out your name like I still do.
But they haven't said a word that's true,
And they only hold you down.

In this heartbreak world..
Of just imagine.
With tired talk of better days,
In his heartbreak world..
Where nothing matters,
C'mon let's make this world that's barely half awake,
Come true.

Let's move out of Los Angeles,
And just drive until the summer gives,
And forget the lives we used to live,
Cause we're gone..

The epitome of sparks.

Hello...

I haven't been here for a while,
And it sure wasn't because of lack of time..
I haven't let my emotions out too much these days,
I'm so sick of all the "try's" and "may's"
And I've got so much inside...
I'm listening to lyrical songs right now,
About the theme which is Goodbye, so-long.
And I don't really know why..
I guess I'm trying to get that mood, to know how it suits me,
I hate the fact, that my world's so small these days,
Cause believe it or not,
It's pretty much only you..
Only you..
It doesn't make sense..
Why..
Whyy.......
I've got a little secret inside, and I've kept it since..
like.. I don't know.. 30.03.2007?
Something like that..
This one feeling I have deep down..
It doesn't let go, and I don't know what to do.
it's been like a thousand days, without exception,
Not a single day slipped by without a thought of you.
Not a single one...
And the nights.. Damn it.
It's like so weird, like when everything inside is bleeding and crying,,
And I'm just sitting here with a neutral face, and nobody can tell..
Sometimes I think.. did we really lose our only chance,
at that little misunderstanding like 1 day after we understood,
that we like talking to each other?
At that one little spontaneous thing you said,
and misunderstood my reaction?
I guess I'll never know.
And by the way I'm smiling now,
I remembered how you once used to think of me as a superhero,
And only now I understood, that I was thinking of you the same way,
Not as an actual Superhero,
But as.. something surreal,
Something too good to be true,
Something you don'twant to get too close to, cause you're afraid it'll disappear..
I mean come on,
It's been so long, and I still can't imagine how you laugh,
I can't imagine you crying,
I can't imagine even looking at you while you're talking,
Cause I don't think I've ever done that.
And.. I'll let you in on a little secret.
Since January, I've had this little idea,
Something I wanted to do, but never did,
I wanted to call you from another number, just to hear your "Hello"
Since I know you wouldn't answer my call.
And instead, I just always imagined me doing it,
But it was pretty hard, since I could never remember your voice clearly..
And since then I always wanted to hear you speak, so I can finally get that little fantasy of mine going like I want it to.
And I did, at hamlets a few weeks ago,
When you came in, said something and hugged some girl,
And better yet, you were smiling.
And it was so funny, I was just sitting there like an idiot,
Smiling and couldn't look away.
My friends were asking me wtf was wrong with me, but I just.. well you know.
Anyway, I'll continue this another time,
I just opened a little red envelope with lots of about my life inside,
And I'm a bit broken now.
Funny how easy it is to get a tear out,
And get destroyed ina moment.
With everything inside just screaming "why".
And to be honest.. I haven't gotten the answer.. yet..
And it hurts like hell to know what I know..
It hurts like hell, to only have memories, about the sweetest alone-times in my life,
It hurts like hell, that it got out of hand, and we never picked it up again..
and even thought you might think we did.. I don't think so.. not since.. ehh..
It hurts like hell, to be this young, and know, that I'll never be attracted to anyone as much as to you.
And It hurts like hell, to know that nothing's going to become better, ever.
No matter how I try to hide you, You'll always be inside,
No matter how I try to run, you'll be right next to me,
and No matter how you try to run from me, for your own good, or for mine,
I know that at least for me - I'll ruin your plans, cause I'll find you anyway..
And probably even when you leave for the UK,
I'll still follow you closely,
And know more than you want me to know,
I'll misunderstand stuff that isn't even meant for me,
And I'll just be miserable,
Cause I know, that You're at the top of the list,
And always will be.. And nothing will ever change.
Long story short -
I want my cure that will never come.
And ugh.. even though, knowing you, it's 90% that you won't even ever read this,
but hell, this is my last chance to try and fix myself on my own..
Take some sparks from inside,
Try to set them free,
Yet watch them all just fly back in..

un jām.. this song has done 2 miracles in one day.. now that's what I call special.
[atbilde uz to, ko domā ir nē]

:(

If I had my way, I had my way
I wouldn't change a thing, wouldn't change a thing
Cause you're my obsession
You keep me in the dark to see your spark
You're keepin' me guessin'
Messin' with my heart. Got it down to an art

You're eyes surprise me every time
You're kiss it twists me, blurring the lines
And it's the very first night all over
The very first smile and then
I'm falling for you
Again

You wreck my world, you wreck my world
You're always that girl, always that girl
Who walked in the room and
I couldn't look away. You captivate
So drawn to you, and I still feel that way
Some things never change

You're eyes surprise me everytime
You're kiss it twist me, blurring the lines
And it's the very first night all over
The very first smile and then
I'm falling for you
Again

Laime.

Āk dievs kā es to gribētu, un man viņa ir deguna priekšā, žēl tikai ka tā nav mana, un es neesmu tik ļauns cilvēks lai to zagt citiem..
Godīgi sakot bija tāds kārdinājums.. bet tad es paskatījos uz tām bildēm.. un..
no.. I can't..
:(

Just because they're pretty... and forgotten.

Eyes are feeling heavy but they never seem to close
The fan blades on the ceiling spin but the air is never cold
And even though you are next to me I still feel so alone
I just can't give you anything for you to call your own

And I can feel you breathing
And it's keeping me awake
Can you feel it beating?
My heart's sinking like a weight

Something I've been keeping locked away behind my lips
I can feel it breaking free with each and every kiss
I couldn't bear to hurt you but it's all so different now
Things that I was sure of, they have filled me up with doubt

And I can feel you breathing
And it's keeping me awake
Can you feel it beating?
My heart's sinking like a weight

I can feel you breathing
It's keeping me awake
Could you stop my heart? It's always beating.
Sinking like a weight

How am I supposed to feel about the things I've done?
I don't know if I should stay or turn around and run
I know that I hurt you, things will never be the same
The only love I ever knew, I threw it all away

And I can feel you breathing
And it's keeping me awake
Can you feel it beating?
My heart's sinking like a weight
___________________________________________________
There's a place off Ocean Avenue,
Where I used to sit and talk with you,
We were both 16 and it felt so right,
Sleeping all day, staying up all night,
Staying up all night.

There's a place on the corner of Cherry Street,
We would walk on the beach in our bare feet,
We were both 18, and it felt so right,
Sleeping all day, staying up all night,
Staying up all night.

There's a piece of you that's here with me,
It's everywhere I go, it's everything I see
When I sleep, I dream and it gets me by,
I can make believe that you're here tonight,
That you're here tonight.

If I could find you now,
Things would get better.
We could leave this town,
And run forever
I know somewhere, somehow, we'll be together
Let your waves crash down on me,
And take me away, yeah.

___________________________________________________

You're making choice to live like this,
And all of the noise,
I am silence.
We already know how it ends tonight,
You run in the dark through a firefight.
And I would explode just to save your life,
Yeah I would explode.

Let me light up the sky,
Light it up for you.
Let me tell you why,
I would die for you.
Let me light up the sky.

I can't find a wall to pin this to,
They're all coming down since I've found you.
I just wanna be where you are tonight.
I run in the dark looking for some light,
And how will we know if we just don't try,
We won't ever know.

Let me light up the sky,
Light it up for you.
Let me make this mine,
I'll ignite for you.

Let me light up the sky,
Just for you tonight.
Let me help you fly,
Cause you won't have time.
To cover your eyes,
Get your disguise.

And it's still so hard to be who you are,
So you play this part,
And the show goes on.
But you've come this far with a broken heart,
Yeah you've come this far,
And you're broken.

Let me light up the sky,
Light it up for you.
Let me tell you why,
I would die for you.

___________________________________________________

Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
That it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.
___________________________________________________

Cause when I looked into your eyes
And you dared to stare right back
You should've said "Nice to meet you, I'm your other half"
___________________________________________________

So here I sit looking at the traffic lights
The red extinguishes the hope that the green ignites
I want to run away I want to ditch my life
Cause all of my mistakes keep me awake at night

And after all of my alibis desert me
I just want to get by
I don't want nothing to hurt me
I had no idea where my head was at
But if my heart says I'm sorry can we leave it at that
Because I just want for all of this to end

And in my heart I so believed
The love you felt for me was more than
The love I'd wished for all this time
And when the doors were closed
I heard no I told you so's
I said the words I knew you knew
___________________________________________________

Explore the cave that is my chest
A torch reveals there's nothing left
Your whispers echo off the walls
And you can hear my distant calls
The voice of who I used to be
Screaming out "someone, someone please
Please shine a light into the black
Wade through the depths and bring me back

I have not been abandoned, no I have not been
Deserted and I have not been forgotten

I need you
I need you here
I need you now
I need security somehow
I need you
Like you would not believe
You're the only thing I want
Cause you're everything I need

And another thing..
I kinda found the song of my life with you..
Vismaz manā galvā šī doma bija tik.. ļoti.. ilgi..

I'd better rest my eyes
'Cause I'm growing weary of
This point you've been trying to make
So rather than imply
Why don't you just verbalize
All the things that you're trying to say

Thought this would turn out so well
But I'm beginning to see
That instead it's trouble
Into a pattern we fell
Of prolonging the inevitable

Why don't you
Come right out and say it?
Even if the words are probably gonna hurt
I'd rather have the truth
Than something insincere
Why don't you
Come right out and say it (come right out and say it)?
What it is you're thinking
Though I'm thinking it's not what I wanna hear

I better check my pride
Because I was starting to think
I was on to something good
But things started to slide
And I sit here in retrospect
And understanding that I misunderstood
Thought I could make up your mind
And then this decision locks up
So tight it couldn't be touched
Thought you were being so kind
But keeping your mouth sealed shut
Rather than just opening it up

And I tried
To guess what goes on in your head
'Cause in your mind
I just might find
All those things you left unsaid
And I'll try to maybe not regret anything
Later on after I'm gone
You'll wish that you
Had listened to me (listened to me)

Why don't you
Come right out and say it
Even if the words are gonna hurt
We're better off this way
Why don't you
Come right out and say come right out and say
What I know you're thinking anyway
Why don't you
Come right out and say it
Even if the words are probably gonna hurt
I'd rather have the truth than something insincere
Why don't you
Come right out and say it

Some do, some don't.

And Some I do, Some I don't.
But damn, it feels so good to make people smile, and know that you're the one to blame.
I guess I had that burried a bit too deep. *sunshinesmiley*

Broken, this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up
And I give up
I just want to tell you, so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I'd let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up
I feel like giving up
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I'd let go, but there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only my only one

Here I go, so dishonestly
Leave a note, for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I'd let go, but there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one

Man vajadzētu atzīties..

Ka es, pat vienu dienu, nebiju tik akls, kā mani centās padarīt.
Pat vienu dienu ne..
Pat. ne. vienu.
Ūn arī šodien ne..

Rebirth and Resurrection are 2 diferent words.

As easy as 5 S's.
S1 - Alvin the chipmunk
S2 - The cat in boots from Shrek
S3 - Charmander wuf-wuf.
S4 - Gir with a muffin.
S5 - Gir on piggy.

Laughing for 5 hours and smiling till your cheeks hurt. I missed that.
Too bad some fairytales start one day, and end the next one.
It's just.. one.. evening..
One.. Magnificent.. referātless.. evening..

Feelings.

You wanted to know how I feel..?
Fine, here it is.
...
...
...
And now that you know..
Tell me..
What could you possibly say, to make all this alright?

BD sindroms.

Tik pat kā vienmēr pirms dziesmu ielieku pleijerī, izlasu lirikas and stuff ūn mēģinu saprast par ko viņa ir. Parasti izdodas.
Bet dažreiz, gadās tādi fenomeni, ka es saprotu, klausos viņu kādus mēnešus 2, un tad tikai pamanu īsto dziesmas būtību, ūn izrādās, ka maldījos pirms tam.. tā man bij ar šito.

There's a time when we try
To begin what is ending
If at first you don't succeed
Then we just end up pretending
If the dream isn't real
Is the lie worth defending?
Close your eyes, cover your ears
Shut your mouth

You can act na¯ve
But I know you're not stupid

You'll wake up when I walk out
Isn't that the way it plays?
The leaver leaves, the stayer stays
You wouldn't make a move, so I made mine
Isn't it a pity?
I wish you were really in it for life
I wish that you were in it for life

What you give is what you get
And what you got's now next to nothing
'Cause the life that you've accepted
Is the one that's least disruptive
Are you aware of the fact
That when I pull, there's no pulling back
You have half the mind, half the heart
Half the will

You can act na¯ve
But I know you're not stupid

You'll wake up when I walk out
Isn't that the way it plays?
The leaver leaves, the stayer stays
You wouldn't make a move, so I made mine
Isn't it a pity?
I wish you were really in it for life
I wish that you were in it for life

Some people talk like they can't hear
Some people walk but get nowhere
And when I'm done with the run I'm going on
I'm sure I'll be
Your biggest regret
You'll never forget

You'll wake up when I walk out
Isn't that the way it plays?
The leaver leaves, the stayer stays
You wouldn't make a move, so I made mine
Isn't it a pity?
I wish you were really in it for life
I wish that you were in it for life

Yeah you can run, but you can't hide
'Cause everything you're running from
Is locked inside
So let it the fuck out!

ūn šitas brīnums ne dziesma mani vakar nenormāli uzrunāja..

[Spoken:]
The music blared with a calming frequency.
The speakers gently seeped the sounds of ambient keyboards and light percussion,
creating a seductive soundtrack to our midnight drive through curtains of blackness.
The windows were cold to the touch, reflecting the icy conditions in our immediate extremity.
Salt stains and fingerprints littered the glass, and streets with melted snow cascaded down its length.
The music pulsed louder, yet gentle, like the far away squeal of a pot of boiling water.
The skyline was glowing faintly with vague hints of an impending dawn.
The car raced along a painfully straight stretch of road,
and she hadn’t so much as turned the steering wheel two degrees in the last twenty minutes,
nor had we spoken.

As we were, so perfect ,so happy.
They'll remember, only our smiles 'cause that’s all they’ve seen.
Long since dried, when we are found, are the tears in which we had drowned.
As we were, so perfect, so happy.

[Spoken:]
“Why are you doing this?” she spoke as if not expecting a response.
Her voice penetrated the still air of our speechless drive, so suddenly that my heart had jumped.
“I’m not doing anything,” I said, but I didn’t even believe that myself.
“This is what’s best, for me, for you, for us." Or maybe just for me, I thought,
as a tear formed in the pit of her eye. The music poured through the speakers
and we were losing ourselves in the cadence. She looked down momentarily and closed her eyes
for a bit longer than a standard blink. Then she was crying. Then she was shouting.
Then I was shouting, now pouring confessions, having no answers, or solutions,
we barely even knew the questions.

As we were, so perfect ,so happy.
They’ll remember, only our smiles 'cause that’s all they’ve seen.
Long since dried, when we are found, are the tears in which we had drowned.
As we were, so perfect, so happy.

Don’t put me under ground, I was meant for a life somewhere else.
Please Love give me the wheel before both of our hearts you will steal tonight. (Will steal tonight.)

As we were, so perfect, so happy.
They'll remember, only our smiles 'cause that’s all they’ve seen.
Long since dried, when we are found, are the tears in which we had drowned.
As we were, so perfect, so happy.

[Spoken:]
Our cracking voices became part of the music.
The car pressed on faster through the night. As our voices lowered,
the cadence again overtook the air.
Up ahead there was a curve approaching.
She made no indications of slowing.



that's about it..

Don't make a mistake.

Mistakes hurt.
...
...
...
...
But her voice sounds so sweet.
...
...
...
...
And I'll have 3 and a half ahead of me.
...
...
...
...
I can't believe it's overpowering that one thing.. That one Thing..
...
...
...
...
Do not make a mistake, I beg of you..
...
...
...
...
I beg of me.
...
...
...
...
I wish he'd leave, and even though thinking like this is evil, I can't help it.
...
...
...
...
She's under my skin.

ūn viena frāzīte forša..

Nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly.

Indeed..

ūn..



Deep inside these burning buildings
Voices die to be heard
Years we spent teaching a lesson
We ourselves had never learned

And if strength is born from heartbreak
Then mountains I could move
And if walls could speak I’d pray
That they would tell me what to do

If you see me, please just walk on by, walk on by
Forget my name and I’ll forget it too
(Simple lives)
Failed attempts at living simple lives, simple lives,
Are what keep me coming back to you.

No signs of life here, save the embers, the occasional flame
We know the way but can’t remember, conception to the grave
Shout confessions from the greatest heights, where no one can hear
All my fears, my insecurities are falling like tears

If you see me, please just walk on by, walk on by
Forget my name and I’ll forget it too
(Simple lives)
Failed attempts at living simple lives, simple lives,
Are what keep me coming back to you.

The drones all slave away
They’re working overtime
They serve a faceless queen
They never question why
Disciples of a god
(I won’t come back!)
That neither lives nor breathes
(I won’t come back!)
But we have bills to pay,
Yeah we have mouths to feed!
(I won’t come back!)
I won’t change back!

And if you see me, please just walk on by, walk on by
Forget my name and I’ll forget it too
(Simple lives)
Failed attempts at living simple lives, simple lives,
Are what keep me coming back to you.

I'm coming back to you...

IT WAS GREAT.

Pirts. Tusiņs. Pirmdienā. Holy cow.. BUT IT WAS FAKING AWSUM! [izņemot tas, ka nadja ar kici nolaida, kamoooon, kapeeeeec, kapeeeeeeec cilvēkiem patīk sev savārīt sūdus >_>] bēt nu tik un tā kopumā viss bija superīgi ^___^ seju kopēšana bija õsom :D ūn visas bildes, kas tapa tajā spēlē, lol. Ūn arī šodienas turpinājums bija superīgs, ūn tā meitene ar lāča ausīm ūn sarkanajiem apavveidīgajiem, bija faking lol :D ūn neaizmirsīsim arī par Zaldātu Koļu. mrowr..
Kas vēl.. esot pie Jura saņēmu manas dzīves interesantāko piedāvājumu vēstulē draugos, par ko mēs visi ļõti forši nosmējāmies. ūn jā, I'm liking Helix nebula ^^
Lyrics :
..^^
.
Amazing, I know. :D But the tune is sooo great ^__^.
arbūziņš. <3

ūn jā.. a little memorial text.

otrdiena, 2009. gada 2. jūnijā, 19:45:22
20'45

Let’s get up and be the darkest we can be,
Let’s shut down the town and spend this night to scream,
Let’s go outside and hate the world,
We’ll scream all day, we’ll fill it up,
We’ll sit back down, and start to muck,
We’ll spend the night hating the day we spent hating.
Then I’ll look at you from above,
And feel much smaller than you ever were,
I’ll sit back down, right next to you,
And give you a deep look,
Make you think I’m thinking,
While I’ll just be looking,
Thinking about nothing.
Then I’ll open my mouth and say nothing.
And you’ll look at me and say you’re afraid.
And I’ll say that’s okay, so am I.
I’ll get up and go, and leave you there.
Thinking about this day.
And there’s nothing there for you to say.
You’ll get up and go.
And I’ll never see you again,

T'was autumn.

Oh why can't I be what you need?
A new improved version of me
But I'm nothing so good
No, I'm nothing
Just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs
Of violence of love and of sorrow
I beg for just one more tomorrow
Where you hold me down, fold me in
Deep, deep, deep in the heart of your sins

I break in two over you, oh
I break in two
And each piece of me dies
And only you can give the breath of life
But you don't see me, you don't

Here I'm pinned between darkness and light
Bleached and blinded by these nights
Where I'm tossing and tortured 'til dawn
By you, visions of you then you're gone.
The shock bleeds the red from my face
When I hear someone's taken my place.
How could love be so thoughtless, so cruel?
When all, all that I did was for you

I break in two over you, oh
I break in two
And each piece of me dies
And only you can give the breath of life
But you don't see me, you don't
(x2)


I break in two over you, oh
I break in two over you, over you
I break in two
I would break in two for you
Now you see me
Now you don't
Now you need me
Now you don't



------------>

You might be just what I need
No I would not change a thing
Been dreaming of this so long
But we only exist in this song
The thing is, I'm not worth the sorrow
And if you come and meet me tomorrow
I will hold you down, fold you in
Deep, deep, deep in the fiction we live
I break in two over you
I break in two
And if a piece of you dies
Autumn, I will bring you back to life
Of course I see you
I do.

Riptide.

Crazy is just fine
'Cause I like where I'm going

I won't justify
The way I live my life
'Cause I'm the one livin' it
Feelin' it, tastin' it
And you're just wasting your time
Trying to throw me a line
When you're the one drowning
I like where I'm at - on my back
Floating down in my own riptide
The water is fine

I remember when it used to be easy

Life Saver.

Prove my words wrong

I wake to the sound of a quiet voice that says "Don't worry cause it's ok"
I slept in the bed that you built me once and I'll sleep in it tonight
I guess it just saddens me to know
You'll never get to say my name again
To my face
I guess it just saddens me to know
I'll never see you again

I'll only hear you when you whisper
and tell me that everything is fine
When you tell me these lies
And I still have open ears

In the autumn of my life
I'll remember that you left me by spring
And when my sun sets I'll remember that you left by the sunrise
And it seemed to be enough
Well it seemed to be enough for you to affect me
More than you could know

In the autumn of my life
I'll wake to the sound of your voice that says "It's ok"
and when my sun sets
I'll sleep in the bed that you built me
And the tired from my eyes won't fade
Fade Away

Thoughts of you

Thoughts of you bring tears of rain which distracts my gaze. Presence of fear remains within me as if invading my space. A feeling of uselessness that will forever burn within my being. If life is so precious why do I lack the urge to need it.

It's just guidance that I seek
can I rely on you.

I'm all alone with all these memories. Memories I hate yet love. I've been here before like so many others. The pain is just something I must rise above.

And I know you'll ignore all my begging cause you've done it plenty before.

In the Palm of your hand

I stand next to you
and I want you to understand
the lines in the palm of your hand

You speak of what's wrong
but you never notice what you have
You'll never wonder what you have

So you come clean
then you wait so long to be
someone who smiles for more than just a while
let's start your life tonight

I stand next to you
and I still want you to understand
the lives in the palm of ur hand


Folding on a perfect hand

So these are the cards that your life's dealt you
So these are the cards that you dealt with
Your sleeves are rolled up to your elbows
and the sweat comes down down down

The smoke filled air is unwilling to share the breath that you need here
And maybe you'll drink that toxic thing that's made your friends disappear
And you'll stay all night trying to figure out who's bluffing right
and when you do you'll be broke
Your hand is bold with the cards that it holds and you think that you'll fold

And you see her, across from the table, she's willing and able but you say
that you're not too, that you're not too sure tonight

And now you fear you're merely posing in a game that you pretend to know
And it's ok, cause when you look at her she seems to be the cure of the game in which you lose you pose

And you see her, across from the table
she's willing and able but you say
that your not too, that your not too sure tonight
And its ok, cause her smiles contagious, her skin is near ageless
and you seem to have her symptoms today

Friends

This paper I gaze at is thin
but it thickens with every word
for my heart is gradually pouring
neatly between every line

Tell me, when's the last time a
girl like you put down in words
how a guy like me makes you feel

We walk in tandem together
but my mind senses otherwise
who wants a nice boy anyway
who's looking for a good guy
now I grow tired of explaining myself and I wonder how many pens it will take me to finish this song

These days a gorgeous girl by your side means that you're just this week's lifetime movie, that you're just this week's drama story

I'll tell you, the same damn gorgeous girl's gonna dump you, go home crying,
she'll call me, tell me that she wants to vent
and I'll be there cause I'm her friend

Top 5

A cold November morning
Allows me to show some emotion
And those leaves, they grow ever so plentiful
Vivid colors, vivid dreams

This is the last time that I'm going to predict what's next

It all seemed so surreal
My dark jacket stands out against the grey backdrop
As those last goodbyes were said
The light shown down on you

Trying hard to keep the words from coming out
Making sure my voice didn't quiver, didn't crack
Teary eyed I stood as you walked away
You never looked back

I guess I'm sorry
But if you really wanted to mess me up
You would have gotten to me sooner

I'll take this harder than you will ever know
When you walked out the door and left me alone
This will be a night for the record books
With the keys that you leave, and the heart that you took

Tantrum. look it up.

Mid-click on GosuG's. Click on the address bar. Type in abusehm. Press down. Press enter.

Your will changes everyday
It's a choice you got to make
I can't help you if I want to
Down here nothing gets a chance
It's a threat that's real enough
We can burn this bridge or stay here
It's a breeze everlasting like time
Making so sure that
I can return just to see it from your side again

Always never seems to work
It's a word you never learned
I don't really see a way clear
It's a sea ever churning in tides
In the sureness of time
And our words will repeat now forever again
Well this might take a while to figure out
So don't you rush it
And hold your head up high right through the doubt
'Cause it's just a matter of time
You've been running so fast
It's the seven day mile
Has you torn in-between here and running away

I don't have a choice in this
It's a road I've come upon
You can join us if you want to

Always never seems to work
It's a word we never learned
Time will be the judge of all here
This might take a while to figure out now
So don't you rush it
And hold you're head up high
Right through the doubt now
'Cause its just a matter of time
You've been running so fast
It's the seven day mile
Has you torn in-between here and running away
It's line you've been wanting
It's your time
It's the seven day mile
Has you torn in-between here and never again
Never again

And down here nothing gets chance
It's a world too big for us
Time will be the judge of all here
This might take a while to figure out now
So don't you rush it
And hold you're head up high
Right through the doubt now
'Cause its just a matter of time
You've been running so fast
It's the seven day mile
Has you torn in-between yeah and never again
Never again

mmh...

"And that.. was the perfect ending to a perfect love story. It just wasn't mine."

So much wisdom in a world so confused.

The girl who silenced the world for 5 minutes.

1:48 AM

1:48.. nevis 19:35.. Kas to būtu domājis.
Cilvēki ir vāji.. Es arī.. Kas to būtu domājis.
Man ir jauns ieradums.. Dienu nedēļā.. Atteikties no tā negribās, un tas ir grūti, bet man tas ir jādara. Ne sevis dēļ.. Kas to būtu domājis.
Ienīst ir tik viegli. Izskatās. Ehh, dažreiz es arī to gribētu. Kas to būtu domājis.
Cilvēki noveļ vainu uz citiem, jo paši jūtas kā svētās nevainības, un katru reizi, kad kaut kas to apdraud, tad viņiem vajag aizsargāties, un tādējādi, viņi to arī dara. Kas to būtu domājis.
Es vairs neprotu būt skumjšs, tikai neitrāls. Kas to būtu domājis.
Man ir par vienu melnrakstu vairāk.. Pārējie gan ir publiskoti, laika gaitā.. Kas to būtu domājis.
Es gribu atpakaļ uz Foam Kingdom, gribu uz spuņciemu, gribu silto lampu, putas, lielupi, tumsu, draugus, kas mani meklē, kamēr es blandos riņķī ar telefonu.. Kas to būtu domājis.
Es gribu uzrakstīt dzejolīti.. Kā agrāk.. Tādu pašu iemeslu dēļ. Dēļ tā kas ir, pat ja tas kas ir, ir slikts un sāpīgs. Vismaz ir. Kas to būtu domājis..
Es esmu izveidojis sarakstu. Tur ir tikai 3 lietas. Bet es tās izdarīšu.
Es jūtos varens. Jo man ir iekšējie orgāni, tad ļoti daudz brīvas vietas, ūn tad mans apvalks, sõ itkā vajadzētu domāt, ka es esmu liels, bet īstenībā vnk iekšā gandrīz nekā nav.. Izņemot tukšu vietu.. Kas to būtu domājis..
Vēl tikai drusciņ.. Vēl tikai 3 lietas, un būs.. būs izbrīns sejās un lūpās vārdi :"kas to būtu domājis.."
Būs 1:48am.

I'm happy.

I made a few pictures in PS.. Damn.. I haven't done that in ages.


Un vēl man iepatikās vārdi daži..

Even though you're gone and far away
I feel you all around
I think about it every single day
You got away somehow

I can't sleep, it's hard to breathe
And I still feel you next to me, now I can see

[Chorus]:
The first one is the worst one
When it comes to a broken heart
Your first love, yeah you're so young
And you feel like a fallen star
There's a fire in the city
That's burning out tonight
You're breathing but you're barely alive
The first one is the worst one
When it comes, when it comes to a broken heart

Spinning like a movie in my head
I've seen a thousand times
I learned to take it hard and fall instead
Of sitting safe on the sidelines

Lost days, pictures fade
Somehow you're still miles away, it's safe to say

[Chorus]

'Cause I would run through a thunderstorm
Just to kiss you
I'm out here on my own
Better now than I was before, but I miss you
And I want you to know

I can't sleep, it's hard to breathe
And I still feel you next to me, and i can see, yeah

[Chorus]

The first one is the worst one
When it comes to a broken heart (feel you all around)
Your first love, yeah you're so young
And you feel like a fallen star (got away somehow)

There's a fire in the city
That's burning out tonight
You're breathing but you're barely alive
The first one is the worst one
When it comes, when it comes to a broken heart

Jām, un vēl es sapratu, ka es esmu laimīgs.
Man ir, kas tāds, kas visdrīzāk nav nevienam ko pazīstu. Tikai man. Vienam pašam. Iekšā. Un vienmēr būs...
Vienmēr.
Vienam pašam.

Ūn jā, to visu kaut cik labi apraksta šitie vārdi.

A little change of the heart
A little light in the dark
A little hope that you just might find your way up out of here
'Cause you've been hiding for days
Wasted and wasting away
But I got a little hope today you'll face your fears

Yeah, I know it's not easy, I know that it's hard
Follow the lights to the city

Get up and go
Take a chance and be strong
Or you could spend whole life holding on
Don't look back, just go
Take a breath, move along
Or you could spend your whole life holding on
You could spend your whole life holding on

Believe the tunnel can end
Believe your body can mend
Yeah, I know you can make it through
'Cause I believe in you
So let's go put up a fight
Let's go make everything alright
Go on and take a shot, go give it all you got

Oh yeah, I know it's not easy
I know that it's hard
No, it's not always pretty

Don't wanna wake up to the telephone ring
"Are you sitting down? I need to tell you something."
Enough is enough, you can stop waiting to breathe
And don't wait up for me

Don't you spend your whole life holding on, yeah
Just go.

/happy.

Half the mind, Half the heart, Half the will.

First day.

Man kāds vienreiz palīdzēja, uz manu teikto, kas lika noprast, ka ciešu, ka viens iedarbīgs veids ir rakstīt. Vnk rakstīt visu kas uz sirds un nepieciešamības gadījumā uzrakstīto sadedzināt ūn jā, pēdējo pāris dienu laikā es tik pat kā tikai to vien darīju. Uz lapām, uz kompja, te blogā. Un jā.. I did it my way, so basically rakstīju nedaudz citādākas lietas. Tābiš izmests tika viss negatīvais.
Es gan šobrīd neesmu pilnīgi pārliecināts, bet man šķiet ka tas nostrādāja, uz sirds ir vieglāk, kad viss sliktais ko vien varēju iedomāties ir uzrakstīts, sadedzināts, uzdrukāts un aizsūtīts pasaulē.
Ūn jā.. es ceru, ka tie trīs cilvēki, kas par šitās vietas eksistenci zin, nepārprata to, ko nevajadzēja mēģināt saprast.
Bet nu jēs.. Gandrīz kā jau agrāk teicu, ierakstu skaits samazināsies. Cerams drastiski. Ļoti ilgi šī vieta bija mans patvērums no visiem sūdiem kas iekšā sakrājušies un vieta kur dalīties dažās labās lietās, bet nu.. Jā.. Es sapratu, ka to visu rakstot uz papīra tomēr efekts ir labāks.
Kas vēl.. nu jau ir pagājušas 14 dienas bez mana apciemojuma vietā, ko esmu iesaucis par Sāpju fabriku, kgan agrāk tā bija superīga vieta kur iegriesties.. Apmerināt ziņkāri, bet nu, tas tiešām vairs nav nepieciešams.
Daudz klausos sick puppies diskogrāfiju. Tīk.
Un man ir interesanti, kad es beigšu sev melot, pārprast lietas, par kurām man nemaz nav jāzin, ūn dot cilvēkiem maldīgu priekšstatu par lietām.
Un jā.. man pēdējās nedēļas laikā ir ļoti trakas domas galvā. Man bail. Saka ka zālēs placebo efekts ir ~80%. Tad nu pieņemsim ka dzīvē arī. Ūn tas laikam nozīmē ka man neko īpaši daudz nav atlicis. Bēt nu whatever, gan jau būs labiņi.
I hate lying to people. Yet, now, I do it a lot.

Almost as promised. Black lamb.

Atkārtoti:
Anesthetized by these lies
I don't believe in truth
And I apologize
But my sacrifice
Has nothing to do with you
'Cause I've been victimized
Like ocean size
From the blood your needle drew
And I apologize
But my demise
Has everything to do with you
Settle up with the devil
Close the basement door
Full force on the shovel
And unearth the floor
You were there one day
But you're here no more
Like a stroke through the heart
And you play the whore
'Cause you stole my soul
Kleptomaniac
Now I can hate myself take my anger back
Love is a violent attack
You cut me down
I feel no pain now
This nightmare is almost through
I hit the ground
No need to feel now
My time here is all but done
All but done
Now I'm up in the attic
Where the rafter's strong
So many reasons to be tragic
And the list is long
If you think I've lost hope
You were never wrong
'Cause the churning of the rope
Is my battle song
Settle up with the devil
Close the basement door
Full force on the shovel
And unearth the floor
You we're there one day
But you're here no more
Like a stake through the heart
And you play the whore
'Cause you burned my souol
Pyromaniac
You can hate yourself take your anger back
Love is a violent attack
I can't stand on my own feet now
I can't crawl forever and a day
Felt like I was getting stronger
Before you turned and walked away
I apologize
But my demise
Has everything to do with you
_________________________________________

Shady looking room again, always asking whats wrong
On the wrong medicine, recovering but Im gone
Stop asking questions that make me hate me
I cant believe this pain let her take me

I refuse to listen, think youve figured this out
Diagnose every word, can suffering have an amount?
My apologies for her words spoken
When you disturb within, beautys woken

Dont try to, dont lie to
Calm me down, you think so less of me, call me necessity
Call her out, her name is Emily, the other side of me

When I am lost for words, I, I give her my voice
When I shut my ears, she is fighting your noise
My hands shake as the light starts to fade
All eyes turn when she comes out to play

Calm her down, my eyes drown, claim my face

_________________________________

Speak these demons, set them free.
Into the world.
Forgotten creation,
Brought to existence back to haunt you.
Fix yourself up, work yourself down
All this adventure, crashing the sound.
Forward your fear, backward your fall.
Seeking you can't deny it all.
Talk is cheap and the world
Falls in your debt.
All the thoughtless things you said,
Who would've thought it's the price you pay.
Selling yourself.. short again.
Put the price, on your head.
Stubborn in nature, Fragile creature.
Leave us here to build interest.
Fix yourself up, work yourself down,
All this adventure, crashing the sound.
Forward your fear, Backward your fall.
Seeking, you can't deny it all.
Talk is cheap and the world
Falls in your debt.
All the thoughtless things you said.
Who would've thought it's the price you pay.
Are you in the heart?
See, he's behind your mess.
Forward your fear, backward your fall.
Seeking, you can't deny it all.
Talk is cheap and the world,
Falls in your debt.
All the thoughtless things you said,
Who would've thought it's the price?
__________________________________
She is nothing - they told her today
They want nothing more than her to decay,
She searches for what makes her strong,
Whether it's in a song..
Or a kiss from a luciferish boy.

She is..
A legend unfolding
They haunt her decisions
Their voices are screaming

Inside she screams

She is nothing
Believes what they say,
Cause shes never heard a kind word,
She searches for what makes her strong
Whether it's in a song..
Only therapy she can afford.

She falls to her knees in agony,
Tries to remember what she believes,
How can you lose what's meant to be.
______________________________________

You hold the key to me, Just throw it away please.
Don't have to make a point to disappoint me.

Stay away.
Not strong enough to keep my distance.
You're virus, I must build resistance.

I'm cold from this sickness. What is this fever I missed.

Stay away.
Not strong enough to keep my distance.
You're (a) virus, I must build resistance
Keep me sane, without your existence.

Can't belong inside my head bury me I'm better off dead,
Can't belong inside your head bury me I'm better off dead.

Pasēdēju un izdomāju.

50% ka šodiena ir 2. sliktākā diena, ko es varu iedomāties lai, ko tādu nolemt, bet..
Jā, agrs rīts, pamodos laimīgs, un vairs it nemaz tāds neesmu. Varētu pat teikt ka es esmu dusmīgs. Uz sevi. Tik sasodīti stipri.
Šī attālā doma, kas bija man prātā pavisam tikko [bet ne šodien], goda vārds man šobrīd liek vienkārši šermuļiem pāri pārskriet. Kā pie velna es uzdrīkstos pēc visa, ko savā dzīvē esmu redzējis, ko tādu nodomāt. Fucking, lelle. Tik nožēlojami.. Riebīgi.
Ūn jā, tieši šīs domas apdomāšana, lika man saprast, ka I did absolutely nothing wrong. I did everything I had to do. Ūn way fucking more. Ūn diemžēl es neievēroju, ka man to ir pateikuši jau tik daudz cilvēki, kad viņiem stāstīju savu pēdējā laika dzīvesstāstu, bet es vienkārši negribēju to visu redzēt, jo man patika būt aklam.
It's so ridiculous. Fāking kāmõn. Viss. [nerdrage explosion]. Nāk atmiņā teikums, ko man pateica ļoooti faking sen. Kurš man šobrīd liek saprast, ka atbilde ko es devu uz to jautājumu (tb, man nav pamata to darīt) , šobrīd pavisam noteikti būtu "I'm not different in any way, sõ jā, I'm doing it."
Un ar šito visu, es cenšos panākt, lai mani beidz mocīt pagātnes rēgi, jo kamõn, enough is fucking enough. GTFO.
So yes, I'm doing everything it takes. I'm throwing out the old book, to start over a new leaf.
Ūn jā, breaking promises ūn lūgumus seems to be cool these days. /atceroties manu lūgumu šajā pašā blogā pirms laiciņa.
Anyway, šis blogs tomēr nespēs darīt to, kam viņš bija domāts, arī tādēļ ka es neesmu vienīgais kurš par viņu zin. Un jā šis ieraksts, kurš gan drīz tiks edit'ots ar dziesmu, kas ideāli atspoguļo visu, kas manī plosās, cerams būs pēdējais. Viss, mīļie.

Pokerturnīrs!

Māns pirmais pokerturnīrs, ūn no 3174 cilvēkiem paliku 38ais [ninja edit] ^_____^
Nū jā, prieciņš. ^___^
Stulbi vienīgi ka tik ilgi biju 9-10 vietā ūn tād pa 12 rokām zaudēju visu, totālas veiksmes, bēt vēl lielākas pretinieku veiksmes dēļ [sliktākā kombinācija ever]
Bēt nu jā, jūtos apmierināts, it īpaši jo uz manīm skatījās 3 draugi ūn juta līdzi visas 3h un 15 min, ūn visi faking bļāva kad es noblefoju ūn liku pašam Gus'am Hansen'am šķirties no trešdaļas viņa naudas :D

P.S. Better.!

Ninja edited a day before.

Man šitā dziesma tīk, ūn es gribēju to ielikt priekš sevis, lai ir te ūn ir daļa no visām pārējām. :)

Aizvērt acis ūn iedomāties ka tas ir pa īstam.

Hellõ mans mīļais draugs, sen neesam runājuši. =]
Kā tev iet ūn kādēļ tu jūties tā kā tu jūties?
Nevēlies aizet uz tējas namiņu or goju papļāpāt par visu ko?
Cik jauki. ^^
Nū tagad kad esam šeit *buži*, ņemam to, tu guli tur, es te ūn davaj.
Ūn tā, kad esmu noklausījies to, ko tu pastāstīji, atnes tēju ūn ir mana kārta, ūn man ir tik daudz ko stāstīt, sõ I let it all out, ūn man kā akmens no sirds novēlies ^_____^.
Sõ, anything good comming up? Wow, sounds nice, bēt nu es protams, ka to jau zināju. Nū tikai nē. Ūn man atšķīrībā no tevis drīzumā būs tas ūn tas, ūn tad vairs nebūs nekā. Nēkad ^_______^. Un...

... īstenībā jau varam arī vnk pagulēt un neteikt ne vārda, šitie spilveni ir tīk ērti + šitā tēja īr fõrša.

We have to succumb to the feelings we can never face
I need you. I breathe you.
I can't go through this all again.
We have to succumb to
the feelings we can never face I need you.
I breathe you. I can't go through this

Then she told me she had a gun
it sounded like she'd used it once before

Then she told me she had a gun
it sounded like she'd used it once before on him
Then she told me she had a gun
it sounded like she'd used it once before, oh man
Then she told me she had a gun
she says she wants to use it on me now

Shatter

Nervous and anxious. ^^

Nū. Būs vai nebūs? ^___^
Arbūziņam būs mājas? aaaaaaa ^_________^
Tas būtu tīk fõrši ^^.
Ūn jāāāāā...... Manu orgasminatoru, nu jau, ir oficiāli lietojuši 29 cilvēki kopš tā iegādes, no kuriem 16 viņu paši nopirka tuvāko 3 dienu laikā. I told you it's grrrreat, bēt nēviens jau negrib ticēt kamēr nav pamēģinājis pats. :D
Ūn jā. Mān ir tāda fõrša dilēma šobrīd. No vienas lietas esmu izārstējies, bēt man nākamned šakumā jāiet pie ārsta, lai pirmo reizi runāt pār problēmiņu, kura, nu jā.. nav forša, ūn pēdējā laikā [manā mērogā - pēdējo 5-6 nedēļu laikā] ir palikusi nopietnāka, bēt nu jā, es kā vnm ārstus atlieku uz pēdējo brīdi. Kāročīt redzēsim kā viss beigsies. ē_ē
In other news... orky is born. In the form of oov and kii. :D ēs gan nezinu, kas pie velna ir kii, bet oov ir.. nu jā, leģenda ^__^ Sarkanā vajadzība. :D
Anyway jā, tieši tagad ir 2:59 naktī ūn es tik tagad esmu reāli izgulējies pēc 4diennakts trakošanas. Sick, sick, sick, visas maliņas sāpēja, bēt nu es par to nesūdzos, mān patika, kgan varbūt tomēr bijām tur bišku par ilgu.. :D
Oh, and one more thing, pamazām sevi emocionāli gatavoju vienam no, diemžēl, tomēr, nepatīkamākajiem brīžiem manā dzīvē, kas, lai kā man negribētos, laikam tomēr nākamnedēļ notiks. Ūn man par to vēl būs jāmaksā. bleh.
Ūn viens cilvēks pieprasa atpakaļ savas austiņas. Jau pirmdien. Sõ man nebūs ar ko klausīties mūziku. Sõ es nopirkšu jaunas austiņas. ūn tas būs sõ nice.
ūn godīgi sakot, man vienalga.. :D
Kas vēl.. šodien bija garšīgi chicken wings. Un es izgāzos ar kartupeļananāsiem.
Man tagad priekšā ir šķīvis ar kečupu, un bļodiņa ar salveti. un karotīti.
Jo es šodien pirmo reizi kopš bērnības ieēdu biezpienu, kurš man negaršo, un es nezinu kāpēc. Bēt nu, ar lielu daudzumu ievārījuma, nāv it nemaz slikti. :D
oh, and i.t.i.h.y.a.a. ^^

How about it then?

^Who are you!?
*I love you!
^You've got my name on your boobies!

All of the soul songs of my head written, burned, and let go.

..Ūn rekur tad ir mans solījums sev.

[27.04.2009]
I take back the life that I gave you. I take back, all my fucking money too. I take back everything except the part where I said we were through. I take back all the flowers that I gave you, I take back all the dinners that I brought you, I take back the time you stole my heart, my soul, are you even listening. I take back every word I've said to you.

[28.04.2009]
Nothing to hold on to. Noone there to catch you. Nothing relaly matters when the world is crashing down.

[29.04.2009]Broken hearts and torn up letters, girl you just can't dance forever, if you want to make it better. her hands are in her pockets and she's scared to look, the picture's frozen and she's closed the book, jealousy has only got one friend, and Joey's heart was never meant to mend. Walking faster, now she holds him close, the timing matters just to take the dose, empty pockets tell the stories. There's no destiny, when everyone's your enemy. Take your jealous heart and cast it into stone. You'll regret it all, living behind your wall. And you'll never fall in love if you don't fall at all.

[29.04.2009]
Crushing down from your promises all in vein. Shot your 44 caliber words with aim. You might have killed the heart, but you've left the brain. Switch all the lights off, tell me what you want from me, take my time and my energy. Give it up, you've abandoned me.

[29.04.2009]
I won't be there, i won't do anything. No I won't be there to catch you if you fall.

[29.04.2009]
I hate this song, because it was written for you. Seasons are clashing. One more's fine.

[16.05.2009]
Back to the disaster. My heart's beeating faster. And I'll never say you're perfect. Fucking up and never admitting it. Never being sorry. Never going back in time before the incident cause I don't even remember what was it like back when it was as good as a dream gets.

[22.05.2009]
Walking on a ship that's destined to drown. Walking no matter what and holding the arm of a stranger cause the only one that's earned your trust is this one person. It's just a stranger. You love the stranger. And so you both walkon a ship that's destined to drown and hold each other's hands tight, cause it's the only hand worth holding on to... And nobody in the world cares. And neither do you two. It doesn't matter why it's happening. What matters is, that it is actually happening.

[24.06.2009]
Light the night. I'm on fire. Now I know just what to change in me, to make you notice, what you're letting go - this, was all part of my plan. Every step I take is my own. I'm sick of watching the sunrise, I'm floating straight into the sunset, here I go. I don't need you here, to validate me. I don't need you here, to show me anything.

[07.06.2009]
Take your rows and your highs like a rollercoaster ride. Like a polar that's a bright light, that's a sign. if ya believe so listen. I'm-a tell ya why. You're gonna get what you deserve, what comes around, comes around, haven't ya heard. Like a boomerang bound to round the curve, you're gonna get what you deserve.

[09.07.2009]
I guess I'm trying to say I'm sorry. But it always comes out wrong. I think a part of you still loves me, even though we're moving on. Always all ways, I wanted us to be, always, all ways you and me. And I'm sorry for what happened, but I want you now to see, that I'm changing all my actions, I don't wanna set you free.

[09.07.2009]
But every time before that I. Tried to measure pain inside you can't ignore it. Right now you can't ignore it. I'll take my heart and rip my feelings out before they make me doubt and I'll fall down with flames by me, I'll love again as long as you will go. I will now rise from the ashes, don't call me pretentious, I'm sitting here making my own rules. And if I fall from the ceiling, you'll be down there waiting... To finish me. Finish me.

[09.08.2009]
Broken, bruised and numb. Would you restate your opinion and hold back your investigation. Do you see the sins you're making cause I've made them all before

[19.07.2009]
I turned away today, without even needing the guys to say, That i think about you every day. I guess, what happened today, is a sign, that I have to put you away, and I hope, that when you're reading this, you won't think about the way things were, cause today those things lost their last air to breathe. I guess I really would have told you everything, and even if not, I would've given you this letter I hold in my hands, in pieces now.. Who knows, maybe it'd change something.. But I guess you don't want that. You're probably right.. And also about the fact that people really DO always leave. Just like that black cat in your blog's picture. But well, at least the weather here, at the krastmala is nice, and even though I'm leaving now. It was fun to wonder if you'd come.

[22.07.2009]
That's when she said I don't ha-te you, I'm just trying to sa-ve you, while there's still something left to save. That's when I said that I lo-ve you, and I can't get enough o-f you. And that I really think you should stay.

[23.07.2009]
So look at me now, Understand where I am, on top where you won't ever be. You should have lived to reach the dream. Not sorry for that, just remember what you said. I'm stuck in circles, with walls around me, that I can't kick away. Take a look around you, these pictures of me, these guys following, your pretty face looks strange. What will you do and how far will you go, to reclaim the place, will you be the bandage for my bleeding. So what will you do with your back against the wall. I'm standing right in front of you. My words for blaming you, that's all. And where will you go, when there's nothing left to say. You're stuck in circles, with walls around you, you can't kick away. Would you bleed a river to construct the spirit, full of pieces, based on good old memories.

[29.07.2009]
They like you, and they like me, they like what gives them money. Money.. Is just a problem we have.. I've been to places yet I still don't know. To where do I belong. I am alone immune, to everything, to everything. Don't bother me, I'm minding my own. So don't stand in my way, I'll do what makes me happy.

[01.08.2009]
Right now, I'm trying my best to see the bright side of the darkest we could be. Can't tell, right from wrong, kill the weak to make you strong. Don't say, fear is what we need, don't try to challenge what I believe, I'll be the judge of who you say is my enemy, I've had enough, no you won't take it out on me. Faces, so many faces, in far away places, but I feel alone. Changes you promised me changes, the coming of angels, but I'm still alone. you say it's better to ignore, some say, there's nothing worth fighting for, so we shot our mouths and out our eyes. If noone sees them noone cries. We are only stupid people. Voices fading, words unarmed. We are only useless people, uninvited, so alone. Right now, I'm trying my best to see, the bright side of the darkest we can be. The darkest we can be..

[02.08.2009]
I'm a book wide open and a page missing.

[03.08.2009]
Tell me where our time went, and if it was time well spent. just don't let me fall asleep. Feeling empty again, cfause I fear I can't take it. Tonight I lie awake, feeling empty. We're better off, without me.

[03.08.2009]
There were no teardrops in your eyes.

[13.08.2009]
Sun goes down, sun comes up. Days can drown in a plastic cup, in this town. Don't know how, don't know when, something came but it left again, and I'm down, with this town. Cause no matter what I see, people love to disagree. Every time I say what I wanna be, someone says that's not how it's gonna be. Come on baby, quit your dreaming, grab your things, the train is leaving. Time to pick that somewhere you wanna go, get there quick or drown in the undertow. Come on baby, time is wasting, choose the wheel that gets you racing. Sun comes up, and down again, hard to stop feeling broken in.

[17.08.2009]
Wake me up, cause I must be dreaming I can't believe, what my eyes are seeing.

[23.08.2009]
Stab your dagger right through my heart and twist. Follow it up, by punching my face with your fist. Now on the ground, cut open both of my wrists. Say that you love me, suffocate me with a kiss. What ever turns you on. Here's to me calling off this war. Here's to me walking out that door. Here's to the only casuality. Here's to the mess you've made of me.

[23.08.2009]
I hate this day. gg :/

[14.09.2009]
I will let this go you know. I will watch this die so slow. Wonder where the feelings go. Every time I see some more, but I've got you inside of me, don't you have the world to see, just go on and let me be. We can finally both be free.

[14.09.2009]
Because you push me, push me, over the edge, Tired of wasting my time, tired of wasting my breath.

[14.09.2009]
tūtiņa

[24.09.2009]
Time slips to nothing, and I'm better than I've ever been. And my time here is all but done. You won't burn my soul, pyromaniac. Erase all your pain, tkae your anger back. And I'm up in the attic where the raft is strong. So many reasons to be tragic, and the list is long. Life is a violent attack, you cut me down. Time passes by, direction unknown, you've left us now, but we're not alone. Before you know it, your cup's overflown, you measure noone that I've ever known. And it's quite alright, and so good bye for now, and so long good bye.

[24.09.2009]
You, me, I'll break it down. The art of breaking up.

[29.09.2009]
King of contradiction.

[02.10.2009]
If you're my star, then you're shining brighter than ever, but why would that matter, if you went dim for me. There are many stars in the sky now, and the number of the ones dim, just doubled. I've got a lot, but there's one thing I'm missing. and that's my one-star sky.

[09.10.2009]
One of us is going down, it will be a long time coming, but you've got the message now, cause I was never going, yeah, you're the one that's going down.

[13.10.2009]
Nepārvarama vēlme izkauties.

[13.10.2009]
Vainot.. Ir jā. Nejau destiny or liktenis or whatever, viņi darīja the best they could. Vainīga ir cilvēku vēlme neņemt to, kas ir uz zelta paplātes, bet ņemt pašu paplāti, jo tā taču ir no zelta..

[14.10.2009]
Pēdējā, mazā sāpīte, un viss būs ideāli.